Get Real...

A wonderful, amazing blogger, named Angel at www.thevoiceofadventure.blogspot.com gave a challenge to for bloggers to Get Real on their blog. I've debated doing this since she posted and I am still unsure, but I've had this NEED to get it all out.

We are so dirt BROKE! We can get milk and gas and that's about all the extra we can get. I am blessed that my children are healthy, we food on the table, clothes on our back and a roof over our head, but I just wish we could get out of this financial SLUMP!

I take everything personal. Doesn't matter what is said to me or how it's said. I try not to but I still do.

I don't have any confidence and am unhappy with myself and sometimes with my marriage.

I need to loose 70 lbs to be a "healthy" weight. My husband still says I'm sexy though, I don't believe him. I feel like the Pillsbury Doughboy.

I yell too much. I try not to and I even correct my husband when he does it, but sometimes I just can't help it and I just start yelling.

I am addicted to the computer. I love reading other people's blogs, visiting gossip sites and just plain surfing the Internet. Instead of working on my homework, I surf the Internet.
Speaking of homework, that's what I should be doing now but instead I'm updating my blog.

I'm never satisfied and most of the time I counterdict myself.

I don't want to get a job. I love being home and just lounging with the kids or doing "whatever" we want. I complain about it, but I do love! (part of the reason we have no money, I have no job) I'm taking online college courses but I don't want to do it, because I don't want to leave my kids (see next post).

My kids drive me CRAZY! (see never satisfied and contradict myself). Daily, I look for a job to get away! I tell my husband he gets to go to work (he doesn't think that's time off, I say it's time off from the kids) and I NEVER get away! 24/7 with the kids.

My youngest son is being tested for Sensory Disorders, Speech Therapy, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and is showing signs of RAD (reactive attachment disorder).

I think I have PADS (post adoption depression syndrome), I diagnosed myself. I joined a yahoo chat group, but wonder if being involved or reading the posts actually help or make it worse.

Even though my plate is overfilled, we are broke and I'm struggling to find quality time with each child one-on-one and my husband; I want to adopt again. I dream of holding a baby in my arms and being called mommy for the fifth time (again never satisfied).

I wish I was closer to God. I am religious but I know I could be better at practicing my religion.

I want to do missionary work, but worry if I'm the right person for it (no confidence).

There's all my innermost secrets. The tension between my shoulders is gone. I feel so much better!